The Journey to my first DNF


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I told everyone who said I was crazy, but they knew I could do it;
“100 miles is a long way, I might not finish.”
but secretly thought I would…..despite the lack of disciplined training, proper nutrition, or plan of execution. It’ll be tough but I’ll be tougher….HA.

The Sinister 7 course was meant to break all notions of what it meant to suffer. At some point I looked up with vomit tickling the back of my throat and saw a mountain with ribbons of trail snaking through it as a representation of my future suffering. In that visceral moment  I understood all of this was actually impossible.

The night before the race I slept! used this little ditty to help nod off, repeated;
Breathe in Calm, Breathe out fear.
I should have been less calm, I should have had more fear. At some point in the third leg I was crying because I wasn’t going to finish, and I also knew, as I know now, that I’ll be soloing that beautiful effing course again next year.

The first three legs are all I can attest to, my experience at the Sinister 7 was perfectly choreographed, like a ballet. From far away it’s magnificent, It’s beauty, mixed with pain and glory that draw us into the middle of the performance until we believe we can do it too.

I still believe I can run 100 miles at the Sinister 7. As a former dancer, I know what it takes. This was the first time in my life I failed at a physical endeavour, and it won’t be the last, for sure.

Today I’m still chewing on the DNF, like it’s a piece of jerky, using it to fuel my next year of real training. I even got a book

My body will be pushed to do impossible things on a weekly basis. I will get used to the taste of the back of my throat, and I will be going steady with pain.

The truth is, I wasn’t scared enough and for some reason unknown to my post-race brain, I refused to plan exactly how my day would go. I thought I’d wing it. Frig, who was that girl?


Winter Running


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In between the crunchy
Squeaks my shoes
Protest the silence
I breath ice like fire
Through my lungs 
Before I remember 
My nose as a filter
But it’s too late
I have to stop but the silence
Bleeds into my heart 
As the cold presses
Against my bones
But this is not the time to rest 
I’m soaked in sweat
It’s dangerous
I remind myself to keep running.

#trailrunning #winterrunning #staysafeoutthere #getoutside #claimfreedom #adventure #explore #training #badpoetry #doitanyway #lovewhatyoudo

Up to Here


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I am often asked why. “Why would you do that to yourself?’and lots of “I could never do that”
Why? Well, I was working as a cook in a cocktail bar where we could drink whenever we wanted as long as we still got our shit done. I needed to stop doing that.
I needed a thing, a reason to get out of bed that was just for me. I needed to be inspired so I could inspire my family, and be present for them.
As soon as last year I had been running off and on around the river trails close to my house with my biggest race being a local 1/2 marathon (Women’s Rocky Mountain Soap Co. Half) a couple of years ago.
Then a friend texted me in June to run a leg of a 50K ultra Grizzly in October with his team. 12kms? Sure, why not? When he texted me back a week later to say he was actually going to run the whole thing solo something inside me texted back
“Me Too”
And so it began. I had never really ran trails before and with 2 and a half month to train, I sucked. 3.5kms took over an hour and I HURT!
I ran 4-5 times a week 7-15kms with my longest at 40k 3 weeks out from my race.
I was so nervous on race day I couldn’t eat breakfast (for which I suffered later) but I did manage to finish with a decent time. All I could think of at the time was How could I get Better?
I signed up for my next race (the Broken Goat) a few weeks later and a few beers in. Another 50km’s but over 5 peaks. This race scared me, and it merits the bubbles in your belly. It was a beast of a race, and I didn’t train hard enough for it. I was too careful and i burnt out from being on the course too long. BUT I still wondered How could I get better.
I ran my last race (the Grizzly Ultra Again!) With a good friend who was running her first race. We ran careful and spent some time in the aid stations, which was new for me, and I had a very enjoyable race.

My next challenge will be the Sinister 7 100 Miles Solo (with my husband…..I hope, he’s on the fence!)

Whelp, that concludes up to here, Y’all are caught up on the short version. I will be revisiting key moments in future posts.

Keep Slaying 🙂

21 days of Running – Day 1


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10 kms on Montaine traverse. It was a beautiful fall day so it was easy for Jess and I to start but after about 5kms it was a hobble and a slog though to the end but we ended with smiles!  I’m still fairly sore from the 50km I ran over a week ago, and she had just done a big ridge hike the day before. I have to remind myself to be kind by stretching and strengthening more than I run at this point.